author: Arundhati Roy
title: the God of Small Things

...that afternoon, Ammu travelled upwards through a dream in which a cheerful man with one arm held her close by the light of an oil lamp. he had no other arm with which to fight the shadows that flickered around him on the floor. shadows that only he could see. he could do only one thing at a time. if he touched her, he couldn't talk to her. if he loved her, he couldn't leave, if he spoke, he couldn't listen, if he fought he couldn't win.

they knew that they had to put their faith in fragility. stick to smallness.
each time they parted, they extracted only one small promise from each other. they knew that life could change in a day.

who was he, the one-armed man? who could he have been?
the God of Loss?
the God of Small Things?
the God of Goose Bumps and Sudden Smiles?

she flew through her dream on heavy, shuddering wings, and stopped to rest, just under the skin of it. sat there in the dark. a lonely, lambent woman looking out at her embittered aunt's ornamental garden, listening to a tangerine. to a voice from far away. wafting through the night. sailing over lakes and rivers. over dense heads of trees. past the yellow church. past the school. bumping up the dirt road. up the steps of the verandah. to her. the words of the song exploded in her head.

there's no time to lose
I heard her say
cash your dreams before
they slip away
dying all the time
lose your dreams and you
will lose your mind.

Ammu drew her knees up and hugged them. she remained sitting for a while. long after the song had ended. then suddenly she rose from her chair and walked out of her world like a witch...