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~reflections on life~ Tuesday, 30th January 2001
shell glitter. sun breeze. the beach. how i missed it. this feeling of walking barefoot in the sand, of listening to the whisper of waves. this moment of sitting there, seeing the sun subside in the sea, turning to inner peace if i would die today, it would be okay. that is what i thought yesterday, as i walked along the waterfront of Ao Nang Beach, in the South West of Thailand.
a strange reflection for a journey, but then, it's this journey that put the thought in words. the goodbye at home. "Pass auf Dich auf und komm gesund wieder," Ronnie said. "Take care of yourself and come back healthy." what he meant was: come back alive. but you don't put it that explicit, this fear that a goodbye can be a goodbye for ever. that the saying bye at home would be tough, that is what i expected. what i didn't expect was that the travelling through Thailand would move me the way it does. it was in Bangkok, when i put my backpack and my self in the taxi that waited in front of Shanti Lodge for me, that i first cried. even though i longed to travel on, to leave this huge city and come to the beach. somehow it feels, the more places you been, the stronger the net gets that connects you to the world. and even though it should be the other way round, it doesn't get easier to leave places behind, but more difficult. maybe that is why i longed to be at the ocean. to swim in this salty water that is filled with its own motion. to collect seashells to put on the side of the bed of my guesthouse room, to carry back home
"There are many lonely people who don't know how to find a partner, and when they meet someone they are afraid to change their lives," he said. "People so often dream about what life could be, instead of trying to live the life they dream of." the woman he met and fell in love with, she was from Germany, too. they lived together in New Zealand for a while, then she felt she couldn't leave her life behind. and he couldn't leave his. i didn't know what to say. the other oddity. the more you learn, the wider the horizon gets, the more you realize that you don't know the answers. that there are so many roads waiting still and that is why we need to travel ~~~~~~~~~~ see
the travel pictures: dream | |||
